


darkest hour

by princegrantaire



Category: The Libertines
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, M/M, present day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princegrantaire/pseuds/princegrantaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carl crashes his own funeral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	darkest hour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [patrokla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrokla/gifts).



“And I’m sure if Edie were here, she’d…” Peter trails off the moment he realizes he didn’t actually invite Edie to her boyfriend’s funeral. He spends a second wondering how inconsiderate that was of him (not _extremely_ , he decides) and resumes his speech.

John started looking like he’d like to throw himself in the freshly dug grave about five minutes ago but Peter firmly believes that’s what John always wishes for in his presence, so he doesn’t let that interrupt his moment. Peter had spent at least twenty minutes preparing this speech, which was considerably longer than the time he’d spent planning the rest of the funeral, and he’s rather proud of it.

Carl watches the whole affair unfold with a sort of half offended expression (mostly at the fact that the only people present are Peter, John, Gary and absolutely no one else), he’s far too confused to actually try to understand what’s happening, which is probably why he’s chosen to hide behind a tree instead of walking there and proving to Peter that he isn’t, in fact, dead.

He’s almost certain he’s told Peter he was going to visit his mum for a few days at least twice the day before he’d left for Basingstoke. Even if they had both been horribly drunk at the time, Carl is quite sure he had done his duty, he had informed Peter that his absence would be entirely explainable. Yet it seems Peter hadn’t quite gotten the message, or else he wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble of having a funeral for Carl.

Another thing Carl can’t understand is why Peter would immediately assume his best friend is dead. Carl feels like he should have expected this though, maybe holding a funeral for your best friend if he’s not in town for two days is a common Arcadian tradition, one that Carl just hasn’t been informed of in all the years he’s known Peter.

He seems to have missed a rather important development while he was so engrossed in his thoughts because as he turns back to the sorry sight that is his funeral, he discovers Peter sobbing pathetically on John while clutching Gary’s jacket so neither of them has a chance of escaping.

“He might not be dead though. I’m sure Edie would have called if Carl had died?” John suggests, attempting to extract himself from Peter’s tight embrace.

“Why would you say that?! Don’t you think I know if Carl is dead? I can feel it, John! We had a connection!” Peter shouts, clearly distressed. He takes a deep breath.

“You know how long I’ve been waiting for this opportunity? I didn’t want ol’ Biggles to die, of course, god bless him, but I feel like I should really put my expertise to good use, you know,” he adds after a pause.

John glances at the grave again, which is nothing more than a tiny hole in the ground with a single rose thrown in it.

“Expertise,” Gary repeats and cover his laugh with a cough. He had spotted Carl hiding behind that tree about four minutes ago but had decided it was better if Peter and Carl sorted out the whole thing themselves.

Carl wonders if he should attempt to imitate some kind of bird call to get Gary’s attention, he’s sure Gary would recognize it from their days with Dirty Pretty Things and maybe gently tell Peter that Carl is alive and there's absolutely no need for a funeral. He settles on texting Gary.

“I thought we said no phones?” Peter says as soon as Gary’s phone buzzes.

Unfortunately Gary doesn’t check his phone and Carl nearly screams in frustration. Sometimes he hates Peter’s need to be dramatic, although he does definitely appreciate the Victorian clothing Peter seems to be wearing for no apparent reason. He finds himself wondering whether no one actually wanted to attend his funeral (and he promises himself to hunt down _all_ his bandmates after all of this is over) or if Peter did actually forget to invite literally everyone that Carl has ever met.

“Oh my god,” Peter says suddenly and even Carl turns to watch him more closely. “Don’t you realise I’m now the sole guardian of Carl’s children? Oh god, what will I do?”

Peter’s starting to cry again, tears already rolling down his cheeks, but Carl almost bursts out laughing.

“Why would _you_ have to take care of them? What about Edie or literally anyone more competent?” John asks, clearly exasperated.

“They’re going to school soon!” Peter exclaims through his tears. “I can’t handle this, oh my god.”

Carl decides it’s about time to reveal himself, before Peter asks Gary to look up good schools on his phone or something equally ridiculous. He suddenly wishes he had a cape with him, he’s sure Peter would appreciate the dramatics of it. He doesn't really have a plan in mind so he just jumps out from behind the tree. From then on everything happens very quickly. Peter screams (a girlish, high-pitched scream that Carl will make sure to never let him forget).

“A ghost!” Peter yells and lunges at Carl.

“Pete, it’s me, Carlos!” Carl yells, a hint of desperation in his voice as he and Peter fall to the ground.

John and Gary have conveniently left the scene, apparently more annoyed than amused, and Carl wonders whether he’ll truly die now, suffocated by Pete’s weight on top of him. Peter seems to consider their current predicament for a moment and eventually gets up, pulling Carl up with him.

“I can’t believe you’re alive!” Peter says as he pulls Carl into a hug.

“I was visiting my family for a few days, I told you!”

Carl finds himself laughing in relief for some unknown reason, as if he had actually come back from the dead. Peter puts an arm around him and smiles.

“You could have worn a cape. Y'know, for your dramatic entrance.”

**Author's Note:**

> \- peter's "expertise" thing is a reference to his brief career as a grave digger (or was it filling graves?)  
> \- all of carl's bandmates aka the jackals, dirty pretty things, etc, he's got quite a few
> 
> hope u enjoyed it! x


End file.
